Sailing with the Queen of london

One day I was out sailing with the Queen of London in Pakistan. Suddenly she took the tiller off me and tried to steer me to Niagara Falls! “If you don't let me kill you then my guards will kill you with no regrets,” she squealed. “FINE," I said smugly! Then BANG! before I could blink she whacked me with her bag and I was knocked out. I was unconscious. She must keep bowling balls in her bag. When I woke up she was holding her two dogs in one hand and controlling the tiller with the other. I stood up trying to kick her dogs off the boat. She then threw me off the starboard side and I tried to get back onto the boat. The current was too strong and it threw me down the waterfall. “What a catastrophe” I thought “I hate that rude lady”. Two days later I was lying in a hospital bed when a policeman came in and asked me how this happened. I told him what happened and the he said, “what? she did that to you too? Don't worry I’ll arrest her. "That rude lawbreaker!"